How Introverts and Extroverts can get along

I have a very close friend of mine who I have been friends for almost a decade. We couldn't be more different, as he is mostly extroverted, a persuader, a good joke teller, and I am more of an introvert who is shy and withdrawn. But despite of that, we get along very well. Heres some tipps on how (these points may pose as dating advice too).

Extroverts dealing with Introverts	Introverts dealing with Extroverts
Introverts need a lot of time to process what happens around them as they feel often uneasy and overwhelmed by a sudden influx of attention, or information. Give them time to think and process what you are saying. If you overload them too much, they may try to escape and avoid any further conversation. To them, this is the natural way of dealing with things. They may be able to react better and give you more useful information the next time as they may have processed the previous conversation and prepared themselves for it. So for you when discussing important issues, it may be better to approach them twice. They also may say something to you, but the fact they are not repeating that doesn't mean they stopped thinking that way, e.g. when you do something they do not like. They won't say anything, but that doesn't mean they suddenly started liking it. When an introvert says something to you, you should generally take it seriously - they do not say it primarily to persuade or negotiate with you, they say it because it's the way it is. But even then, they may something very clumsily and come off wrong saying something completely different than they wanted to say. It's hard for them and it's even harder to read them right, but that's why it's important to communicate.	Not everything extroverts say is objectively truthful. They exaggerate or sugarcoat things to persuade you, get you into doing something, test you, figure you out, or simply to get out of trouble. That's not a bad thing at all - just a reminder for an introvert that they may say things that seem negative to you, when its them trying to gain your support or trust. Sometimes lying is the right way for them to do this, too. This may seem wrong from a introvert's point of view. From the outside, introverts often communicate on a very factual level, and want to say whats important and true, while extroverts focus on negotiating and persuading. I think that's something you can learn from an extrovert. Market yourself better!
Introverts only say something when its absolutely necessary, when it constructively contributes to the discussion, and when they want to enhance it with meaning. They are often quiet observers. They acknowledge what is being said, but they do not chose to comment on it. They enjoy having their thoughts for themselves as it deflects undesired attention that makes them feel uneasy. If you as an extrovert want to have a meaningful conversation with an introvert, you should chose a quiet place with not too many people around you, ideally just you and the introvert. If they feel comfortable with you, they may open up and tell you their deepest secrets. Once they are familiar with you, they will not get enough from your attention.	This is probably one of the hardest to understand for an introvert. An extrovert generally carries their thoughts and emotions outwards. So if an extrovert is mad or angry, they will let everyone know they are. But that's reckless and unfair to take out your anger on others, right? As long as they aren't taking it too far, no. It is really just the way they deal with their feelings and thoughts. They often don't even know what tumult they may cause in an introvert by directing their emotion towards them. So next time you find yourself in this situation ask yourself: did they really mean that or could they not find another way of processing their emotions?
The fact that introverts are easily overwhelmed with information, causes them to require a lot of time for themselves, putting a lot of energy to reflect and process what is happening around them. Because of this, introverts do not have this much energy and often appear lazy. They also do not like it when you tell them they are lazy - when in fact their mind is in a "healing state" of daydreaming, thinking about the world, and doing mind experiments in their heads. They need this to stay sane in this insane world. Since their attention and energy is so limited, its truly a gift to be in the world of an introvert.	Extroverts like attention. A lot. They like to be around people because it gives them security and confidence. They love their community and are devoted to keep it strong and motivated. They enjoy hearing praise when they did a good job, because this is the language they speak. And that's exactly the catch as an introvert: How do you compete with all these people for an extrovert's attention? How do you do appreciate an extrovert's friendship when you're directing your thoughts and emotions inward? So the best thing you can do about maintaining a friendship with an extrovert, is to show or tell them you want them as a friend as often as you can (and feel is appropriate) by complimenting them, approaching them, offering them support etc. etc. I know for one that I often have positive thoughts about people, but I am voicing that too rarely. Be more open towards your extroverts. Of course, it has to be the right person in the right moment (which can be hard to figure out as an introvert) - but they will appreciate it.

How to Make Leaving Your Comfort Zone a Habit

In an earlier article, I talked about how important it is to get out of your comfort zone. But how do you actually get out of it?

Before I start, it's important to keep in mind the following:

1. If you want to achieve goals, you must acquire habits that help you accomplish them. 
2. Nothing will change if you don't stop making excuses. If the time to make a change isn't now, then when?

These two things are essential in understanding what I'm about to tell you next.

"Getting out of your comfort zone" may be one goal in a larger chain of goals you have in mind.Once you achieve it, all other goals can be accomplished with greater ease. So how could a habit look like that helps you get off your lazy bumcheeks?

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Find something...

• that doesn't require a huge effort to start doing (highly accessible)
• that pushes you to the limit, at your own discretion 
• lets you explore and expand said limits.

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Let me show you two of these habits I acquired:

• Taking cold showers. Cold showers expand your blood vessels, thus giving your metabolism a rush of energy. They may help if you are struggling with making physical exercise a habit, too. The fact you are forcing yourself to cold water exposure is a perfect way to teach yourself to get out of your comfort zone (and defeat the "innere Schweinehund" - the "inner lazy skunk" - as we Germans say). If you shower everyday make it a habit! That being said, you don't have to jump right into cold water. What I do is to wash myself normally, then proceed with cold shower, gradually making the water colder - and remain in the shower for a maximum of two minutes. Next time I'd shower I will try to make it even colder, trying to push my own limits. Keep in mind that if you notice you start shivering or feel your limbs are getting numb, you should stop with the shower and get yourself warm as soon as possible. Push your limits, but never drive it too far!
  
  
• Physical exercise. Similarly to taking cold showers, it fires up your metabolism. Besides it keeps you fit and healthy. To make exercise a habit, I started doing situps before going to shower in the evening. For me personally I choose a familiar environment for exercise (the bed in my room), which meant less effort for me to start doing it. You can do whatever exercise you feel most comfortable with, like stretch lessons, situps, yoga - simply chose the lesser evil ;). Just keep in mind that workout - if done wrong - can be damaging to your health (like kickboxing with limb weights on). So if in doubt, I highly recommend seeking professional advice.
  
  

With these two habits I am fostering I basically got used to getting out of my comfort zone. Slowly I am expanding this to other parts of my life. I must say it helped me getting to know the unknown called "discipline".


But beware: Do not ever think about slipping on any of these habits. If you don't have time for them now, you're not going to have time for them later - because you are more inclined to find an excuse for not doing them at all. Try to remember this: If you're not investing in good habits now, then when? 


What will remain if you lost everything you have? You. So invest in yourself. Because you are the most valuable asset you have.

Good reasons to get out of your Comfy Zone

I often see opportunities. Opportunities like, working together with someone to make a game, someone from the press asking indiedevs to send their games over to getting them covered on their website, people messaging me about my blog and whether I want to write for them.

Life is giving me MANY possibilities like this if I really think about it. Possibilities I could use to grow.

The thing is: I often don't even know how to respond or react to that. Things like this make me feel anxious. Scared to do it, even. It triggers an escape´mechanism inside of me. Often, I silently opt out pretending these opportunities never happened.

But then I realize that if I don't do things that are out of my comfy zone, I firstly waste so many opportunities to be a more successful indiedev, and secondly I will never ever grow beyond the limits my fears impose on me.

So I try to take my chances, allow myself to be a complete noob and just do it.

I will likely fail for everyone to see, on the internet that never forgets, but you know, you do it wrong until you learned how to do it right. If you're not doing it, how are you supposed to get better? The entire process is important - not just the end results (= you being successful).

The struggle can be exceptionally hard if you've had a trouble past like me - but know if you manage to do this, keep at it with outstanding persistence, passion and determination, you can say of yourself you went from "living in a dump" to "happy and rich".


Allow yourself to fail. Allow yourself to be rewarded for what you do - that's the only way to grow. 

And don't forget those who helped you along the way, too.

Why You shouldn't Always Translate Advice to Your Own Life

Some motivational sites claim that if you want to be successful, you sleep much less than the average person. The argument is that if you sleep less you have more time to get work done and be productive.

I have a few problems with this type of advice. I have no doubt people who can pull this off exists. But you have to adjust that to yourself individually, to the tasks you perform and to your schedule.

I have a dayjob and are ~9 hours per week in the office (including commute).  I still can squeeze in a few hours of gamedev into my schedule depending how draining the task at work were. In my experience, sleep deprivation is extremely bad for my productivity and will eliminate these few hours of gamedev in the evening. Instead, I spent these hours taking a nap because I am exhausted, later unable to go to bed at a reasonable time.

From the start of this month my productivity hit a low because I have screwed with my sleeping schedule, sleeping an average of 5 to 4 hours per day (6 including naps) this and last week. You can probably tell by the fact I haven't written many blogs this month so far. In order to be productive (whether it is coding or writing blogs), my brain needs to be in good shape in order to perform them.


That means: enough sleep, enough sun exposure ("recharging" my nerves), a bit of workout (taking a walk and doing sit-ups in my case), healthy diet (lotsa bluebewwies!) and being in peace of mind (I can't code when I am emotional distress). If one or more of these things are lacking, I am simply not in the shape for these kind of tasks. When tired, I am much better at doing art or music, which flows much better then.


Contrary to the initial advice (sleep less, get more work done) sleeping less actually impacts my ("logical") productivity negatively. However, your aim should create the conditions and environment required that enables you to be productive. If getting enough sleep is one of them, you shouldn't ignore that.

(There may be other reasons why sleep is a requirement for me to be productive, namely that my energy in general is low; it can be raised by correct posture or working out more. Still working on myself :])


It's always good to foster good habits to grow. See the basic point in advice given and see what you can adapt, keeping in mind your own strengths, weaknesses, daily routine and habits.

Just keep in mind not every advice is useful to you or directly applicable to your life. You are on a unique journey and your journey is never the same as someone else's.